


my thoughts versus my feelings (my thoughts on you hit the ceiling)

by italldependsontheday



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Just really gay, Slow Burn, also some homophobes make an appearance so slight trigger warning, ill put anything bad in the notes at the start of the chapter, not too slow but slow enough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-23 01:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13179549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/italldependsontheday/pseuds/italldependsontheday
Summary: Alex and Kelley grew up very differently. While Alex's parents controlled every aspect of her life, Kelley's understood she needed to experience things for herself. Alex had every opinion she's ever had thrown upon her by her parents since before she could understand what they were saying. Kelley was allowed to make up her own opinions because her parents understood that her opinions were doing to differ from theirs. Alex's parents took their own personal beliefs very seriously while Kelley's didn't.Kelley never realised how lucky she was, growing up the way she did, Alex on the other hand never realised how unlucky she was.orKelley falls in love with the straight girl who moves in next door





	1. Chapter 0.5

Gay. The first time that word was used in Alex’s house was when she was 7. She was getting lectured on the importance of protecting the sanctity of marriage. Her parents had very firm beliefs of right and wrong. Growing up the way Alex did meant she didn't have any of her own opinions. Everything her parents said she believed, she had no reason not to. 

“Marriage should be between a man and a women, those gay people just want to ruin that for the rest of us normal folk.”

The number of times her parents had used that phrase was a number Alex couldn't count to. Heated arguments with subject matters relating to God’s will, or whatever, were very common in her household growing up. She got used to it eventually.

The tv channels Alex was allowed to watch were restricted to only Christian channels or educational channels. Nothing that would give Alex any ideas. Alex found these boring but never spoke up about it. Because being bored was better than being the subject of her parents yelling. Everything Alex was allowed to do, say, or think was dictated by her parents which never bothered Alex because she didn't know anything else. All the kids living around her were treated the same. It was normal for her.

Alex didn't know how strict her parents were until Jeni was kicked out of the house. Who knew a little bag of marijuana would be such a big deal? Alex was only ten at the time and she never saw Jeni again. Their parents pretended that she didn't exist. Any trace of Alex's older sister was erased from the family home. After her oldest sister left there was no one to challenge her parents' political views which led to more of Alex's thoughts being formed by her parents. 

By the age of 15, Alex began to realise that maybe gay people weren’t the devils her parents had always made them out to be. However the first and only time she tried to bring up the subject she was shut down quickly. It was always the same argument.

After that night Alex left it alone. After all was it really worth getting kicked out of her house over? Alex wasn't gay so why did she even care about her parents' stance on the LGBT community. It's not like it would ever have any impact on her life. She wasn't gay, it didn't matter. 

When Alex was 16 her parents made the choice to move away from Los Angeles. Deciding for some reason that the atmosphere there would contaminate their children's beliefs. So when Alex found out they were moving to San Francisco she was very confused. Because surely if her parents wanted that they would've moved to Texas or something. Not that Alex was complaining.

Alex figured the move was because her parents wanted to be closer to the protests they so often attended. The gay rights movement in San Francisco was much more prominent than in Los Angeles which both terrified and excited her at the same time. On the drive up Alex wondered what it would be like to meet a real-life gay person. Would they be the monsters her parents always made them out to be?

\----

Kelley on the other hand, had a much different childhood. Her parents accepted the fact that their children weren’t going to share their opinions. Kelley didn't have political views thrown in her face the second she could understand what any of it actually meant. Instead, she was encouraged to make up her own beliefs. 

All throughout her childhood, Kelley and her siblings experienced life the way they wanted to. When Kelley asked her parents for a suit for her 6th birthday that’s exactly what she got. She wore it everywhere, school, church, you name it Kelley was there in her suit. When Kelley’s brother Jerry decided he wanted to start ballet her parents went out and instantly signed him up for lessons. Anything the O’Hara kids wanted to do, within reason, they did just that as their parents watched in awe.

While Kelley's parents enjoyed attending church regularly, Kelley only attended until her parents told her it was optional. After that, she instead preferred to spend her Sunday mornings surfing alone. Occasionally the kid who lived up the road joined her. Kelley was sure her name started with a T but she didn't know what came after that. All she knew was this girl knew how to surf and loved to listen which was perfect for Kelley. 

The girl whose name was Tobin, Kelley learned that later on, became one of Kelley's closest friends. They'd spend any free time surfing together. Tobin listening, while Kelley rambled on about anything she could think of to fill the silence. With only the San Francisco beaches and Tobin to keep her company, Kelley had a lot of free time to think.

From a young age, Kelley knew she wasn't straight. The first person Kelley told was Tobin. Kelley didn't know how Tobin would react which made her incredibly nervous leading up to actually telling her. All she got was a "that's chill" from the other girl which just summed up Tobin completely. Kelley’s sexuality was never brought up between the two of them after that which she was perfectly fine with. 

The rest of Kelley’s friends were incredibly supportive towards Kelley coming out. Their responses ranged from ones similar to Tobin’s, with friends like Christen and Morgan simply nodding their heads in understanding, to Julie and Allie meticulously planning a coming out party that ended up falling through much to Kelley’s disappointment.  

When Kelley came out to her parents, they understood. She expected them to ask questions, but she got nothing. In some ways she was happy but she felt slightly underwhelmed. She'd hyped herself up so much for a bad reaction but she supposed it was better they were okay with it. The alternative could've been terrible. 

 


	2. chapter 1

It had been a few days since Alex and her family had moved into their new house. They were all still settling in but everything had gone smoothly so far. A few of their neighbours had come round and introduced themselves which Alex thought was nice of them to do. Her parents, on the other hand, were nice to their visitors upfront but the second they closed the door, opinions and sly remarks were all anyone said for the next couple of minutes. Alex never joined in mocking her new neighbours, instead she sat quietly in the corner and simply nodded along.

Alex didn't really take any interest in any of her new neighbours until one particular family showed up. A knock on the door startled Alex who had been sitting on the stairs reading a book.

“Alex, could you get that please?” her mom yelled from where Alex assumed was the living room.

Sighing Alex put her book down and went to open the door. She didn't know what she was expecting but it sure wasn’t the family that stood in front of her. Most of the neighbours had been old people, not that Alex minded it was just that seeing a family with kids that looked to be around her age was new. They seemed like a pretty normal family and Alex hoped her parents wouldn't be too rude to them.

"Hi I'm Karen, we noticed you moving in the other day and just wanted to welcome you to the area." The woman, Karen apparently, stuck out her hand for Alex to shake. Alex shook her hand before realising she should probably tell Karen her name too.

"Hi, I'm Alex." Karen smiled at Alex warmly which she returned instantly. "It's nice to meet you," she added as an afterthought.

"This is my husband Dan and our three kids, Jerry, Kelley, and Erin." Karen pointed to each person as she said their name. Alex smiled at all of them, not really knowing what to do or say next.

Thankfully she was saved by an arm around her shoulders and the cheerful voice of her father. He began talking to Dan and Karen instantly which led to him saying something Alex never expected.

“Would you like to come inside, it's probably more comfortable than standing out here.” Alex’s dad moved out of the way so the family could move inside.

None of the other neighbours had been invited in so far. Alex wasn't sure what was going on as her mom came over and introduced herself to Karen. Then the two of them wandered off into the kitchen, probably to find some wine Alex assumed. Dan and her dad went and sat at the table outside but not before Jeri was summoned from upstairs. That left Alex alone with Jerry, Kelley, and Erin. They all stayed standing in the middle of the hallway in silence. No one said anything which made Alex feel quite uncomfortable.

Luckily Jeri came down after a few seconds of silence and instantly brightened up the room. She started talking to Jerry and Erin, leaving Alex standing quietly just watching the interaction. She looked over to Kelley after realising the two of them weren’t really involved in the conversation. Alex watched Kelley look from her siblings to where Alex was standing and instantly the smaller girl smiled at her. Kelley’s smile was the most inviting thing Alex had ever seen so she smiled back.

“You names Alex, right?” Kelley asked. Alex felt relief wash over her because she didn't have to initiate the conversation.

“Yeah that’s me, and you're Kelley?” Alex phrased it like a question as if she didn't already know.

“Yep. So Alex, where were you before this?" Kelley asked as she smiled brightly.

"Los Angeles." Alex was becoming more intrigued by the girl in front of her every second.

“What made you guys move up here?” Kelley asked in a way that Alex could tell she genuinely wanted to know.

While Alex told Kelley she wasn’t actually sure why they’d moved, she led the shorter girl up to her room so they didn't have to stay standing in the middle of the hallway. Jeri and Kelley’s siblings walked off somewhere too. Alex was aware that her room was incredibly messy and not at all put together but she hoped Kelley would understand seeing as they’d only moved in a couple days ago.

Alex and Kelley ended up talking for almost an hour about anything they could think off. Alex learnt that Kelley’s favourite colour was blue, but not a dark blue more like a sky blue type of colour. Kelley specifically used those words so Alex figured it had some significance to the other girl. Kelley told Alex that she loved to surf even if she was a little scared of the ocean and that she hated horror movies but all of her friends thought she loved them. Alex also found out that they were both going to be at the same school which meant Alex was at least going to have one familiar face. However, the main thing Alex learnt was that she wanted to get to know the shorter girl better.

That was a possibility until Karen came up to tell Kelley they had to go because they had things to do. What these things were Alex didn't know. Kelley got up with a reluctant sigh and began to make her way out of Alex’s room. She stopped abruptly just before she went out of sight.

“Hey, are you busy later?” The question took Alex by surprise. She wasn’t too sure how to reply. She didn't want to sound too eager to be Kelley’s friend.

“No, why?” Alex asked hoping she’d managed to keep her tone casual enough that Kelley couldn't hear her desperation.

“My friends and I are going down to the beach for dinner, I was wondering if you wanted to come. You don’t have to but if we’re going to be friends then you should probably meet everyone else.”

Alex was intrigued to meet ‘everyone else’ but also Kelley’s proposal of friendship, “Yeah that sound like fun, I’m in.”

Kelley simply smiled in response. Before she followed her mom down the stairs, she told Alex to be at her house by 6.

\----

It was almost 6 and Alex was getting increasingly nervous. What if Kelley’s friends didn't like her? What if she said something wrong? What if Kelley decided she didn't want to be Alex’s friend after all? Alex’s brain was full of questions. Alex was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't see Jeri watching her from the doorway.

“Are you okay Al?” Jeri’s words managed to bring Alex back to reality as she noticed her sister. Alex shook her head.

“What if they don’t like me?” she asked.

“If they don’t like you then that sucks, but you won't know unless you find out,” Jeri pointed out.

“That doesn’t really help Jeri.”

“Just go Alex, you'll have so much fun I promise. Get out there and meet new people. You can thank me later.”

Alex realised her older sister was right so she got up from her bed. She made sure to hug Jeri on her way past, along with both her parents as well. She quickly grabbed anything she’d need and headed off to the house next door.

When Alex walked up to Kelley’s house she didn't even have time to knock before the door was flung open to reveal Kelley and 4 other girls already waiting for her. Kelley introduced everyone very quickly but Alex managed to pick up that the four girls names were Tobin, Christen, Julie, and Allie. Karen who was doing something in the living room yelled a greeting out to Alex followed closely by one from Dan, both of which were reciprocated cheerfully by Alex.

“I swear my parents love you more than me and they met you this morning,” Kelley sighed and shook her head but it was obvious she was kidding which made Alex laugh anyway.

“I mean why would they not?” Alex fired back quickly which meant it was Kelley’s turn to laugh.

“Touché Alex touché,” Kelley smiled at her before turning to face the rest of her friends.  

As Kelley led everyone into the living room she explained that they were going to order pizza then take it down to the beach to eat there. It took the six of them a while to figure out what type of pizzas everyone wanted. It was decided that three pizzas would be enough for everyone but no one could agree on what pizzas were the best to get.

Kelley and Tobin got into an argument over whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza. Alex and the other three girls watched the two friends argue until eventually, Allie had to step in. She suggested they get one with pineapple and one without and the two girls reluctantly agreed to disagree but not before Allie could give her own input.

“Pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza though Kelley.” The look on Tobin’s face was incredibly triumphant as she stuck her tongue out at the other girl. Kelley wore a look of mock offence at Allie’s statement.

“Fuck off Allie pineapple on pizza is the best thing ever,” Kelley tried to protest but Tobin cut her off.

“Actually I’m the best thing ever,” Tobin smiled at her which caused Kelley to roll her eyes.

“You're all such children now come on, let's order the rest of this pizza,” Christen groaned but she didn't do a good job of hiding the smile that spread across her face. Julie’s laugh was ringing out across the room which soon made everyone else laugh too. Including Alex.

As the laughter died down slowly, Alex looked around at the group and decided she wouldn't mind getting to know all of these people better. Maybe her parents made the right decision when they chose to move away from LA.

The walk to the beach was short and Alex was glad because she was still exhausted from unpacking all her boxes. Kelley led them over to a spot on the beach that seemed random to Alex but must've had a special meaning behind it because she specifically made her way there.

The six of them put their pizzas down and immediately everyone began to eat. Alex realised these people were a lot different to her old friends and she liked that. The friendship between the five girls in front of her seemed genuine and pure compared to the shallow, surface level friendships she’d had back in LA.

“So, are we doing a good job of convincing you it's cooler up here?” Kelley asked after everyone had finished their pizza. “?”

“I think you're doing a good job of convincing me, I'm having a good time,” Alex explained and the other five girls smiled as she talked.

“I'm glad.” Kelley’s smile was brighter than anyone else’s which was something Alex noticed instantly.

They all sat in silence watching the sunset until Alex heard a soft voice speak up. “Alex do you have any pets?” The voice belonged to Christen and a couple people laughed softly at her question.  

“Yeah I've got a dog,” Alex replied. Christen’s eyes lit up as soon as Alex said the word dog.

“What's your dog’s name?” Christen asked next.

“His name’s Blue. Do you have any dogs?”

The other 4 girls simultaneously groaned.

“Here we go again.”

“Oh no.”

“Alex, what’ve you done?”

“We’re going to be here for hours now.”

Alex didn't know what they were talking about until Christen opened her mouth next. “You guys are honestly the worst, it's not that bad.” That just made Alex even more confused. “To answer your question, yes I have two-”

It was that bad. Christen talked about her dogs for the next half an hour while the rest of the girls tried really hard not to laugh. By the time Christen stopped talking, the first set of parents were there to pick up their kid. One by one, everyone got picked up until only Alex and Kelley were left.

“What do you think about everyone?” Kelley asked as they got up to begin the walk back to their street.

“They seem great, honestly. I was really nervous before but I'm glad that at least I'll know people for when school starts,” Alex replied.

“There are some more members of the gang who usually come with us but I think they were busy today,” Kelley explained.  

“Ok cool well I look forward to possibly meeting them,” Alex smiled at the smaller girl walking just in front of her.

Watching Kelley O’Hara walk was a new experience for Alex. Kelley liked to jump on and off things as she walked. It fascinated Alex a lot. A lot of things about Kelley fascinated Alex she realised while Kelley jumped on something else.

As the two girls began to approach Kelley’s house, the shorter girl had calmed down a bit and just stuck to walking next to Alex. The silence surrounding them was comfortable to Alex who normally hated when it was quiet.

“This is me,” Kelley said as she came to a stop outside her front gate.

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Alex smiled at the other girl who returned it enthusiastically.

Kelley opened up her gate as she waved goodbye to Alex. “I'm glad you came, I feel like you'll fit into our group really well.”

That made Alex’s smile grow even bigger. “I'll see you around.”

“Hell yeah you will Morgan, you're never getting rid of me now. You're stuck with me,” Kelley yelled the end as she unlocked her front door.

“Kelley you're so loud.” Alex heard Karen’s voice just before the door shut leaving Alex to walk to her house next door alone.

Alex felt happy as she entered her house. Kelley and her friends seemed really nice and Alex was excited to get to know them better. She felt like they enjoyed having her there and Kelley had all but confirmed that before they split off to their separate houses. The smiled on Alex’s face never wavered even when she was about to fall asleep. She was incredibly thankful her parents had decided to move to San Francisco of all places. Her new potential group of friends was what was on Alex’s mind as she slowly fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the first actual chapter, I'll admit I was kind of stuck writing this but hey Alex and Kelley met for the first time. I think from now on I should be able to write this easier. the next chapter will be from Kelley’s pov but I'm not sure whether or not to retell this chapter or go from where this ends off
> 
> if you have any questions or anything you can find me on Tumblr at italldependsontheday


	3. Chapter 1.5

Kelley couldn’t get Alex Morgan out of her head. It had been two days since she’d first met her new next-door neighbour and all Kelley could do was think about Alex. She didn’t know what was happening to her. Sure she’s had crushes before but nothing as significant as this. 

Kelley was pulled out of her thoughts by someone bumping their shoulder against her own. She looked to her left and saw Tobin walking in step with her.

“What's got you so distracted?” Tobin asked. Kelley looked up and could see the rest of their friends quite a way ahead of them. Christmas break was almost over and the group of friends were making the most of their time out of school. Right now Kelley was pretty sure they were on their way to the beach but she wasn’t certain.

“I'm just thinking.” Kelley didn't want to explain, not yet. Not until she figured out what she was actually feeling.

“About what?” Tobin pressed further.

“Just things,” Kelley replied vaguely hoping Tobin would get the hint. All Tobin did in response was nod as Kelley watched her turn her gaze back to their other friends. Tobin sped up in order to catch up with the others so Kelley did the same. 

Kelley spent the rest of the day with her friends, trying to keep any thoughts of Alex out of her head. She was relatively unsuccessful but that didn't stop her from enjoying her time nonetheless. They did end up at the beach like Kelley had thought. The entire afternoon was spent playing a small game of beach soccer that, after a brutal slide tackle from Kelley left Tobin on the ground for a bit too long, ended in a tie. Kelley was pretty sure her team lost but she didn't say anything since no one had actually kept track of the score and she didn't want to lose either way. 

\----

Kelley continued to spend all of her free time with her friends until suddenly school was starting back up the next day. She didn't understand how her break had flown by so fast. A part of her wanted the past week or so to last longer and another part of her wanted to go back to school. Because she wanted to learn, she told herself, not because she wanted to spend more time with her new next-door neighbour.

It was around midnight on her last day of Christmas break and Kelley was still awake. She had an urge to go out and do something. After a quick text to one of the many group chats her friends had created she realised they were all probably asleep. It was technically a school night after all.

As her need to get out of her house increased she realised Alex was her closest option. She didn't know the girl that well and realised that if she just turned up outside her window it might be a little weird. That was a risk Kelley was willing to take though if it meant she had a companion for her little outing.

It didn't take Kelley long to find some clothes to put on and soon she was well on her way next door. She stood outside for a while trying to figure out how to best approach the situation. She knew which window was Alex’s and she could see a light was on in the room said window belonged to. All Kelley had to do was get up there. 

Climbing up to Alex’s second-storey window was not how Kelley had imagined her last night of Christmas break going. The was a little section of the roof just below her window which Kelley perched on as she tried to figure out what she was going to say.

Kelley looked into the window and saw Alex sitting on her bed reading so she tapped on the window lightly. When the other girl didn't notice she tapped harder. Alex looked up and caught Kelley’s gaze which made Kelley incredibly nervous. She watched Alex scramble out of bed and make her way over to her window.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked as let Kelley into her room.

“I was just in the area,” Kelley replied vaguely trying to figure out how to ask Alex if she wanted to go on an adventure with her.

“Aren't you always in the area? I mean you do live next door.” Alex looked both confused and amused which Kelley took as a good sign. At least Alex hadn’t screamed at her and told her to fuck off. Not yet at least.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Alex didn't say anything, Kelley realised she was waiting for her to continue but Kelley didn't know what to say. “Would you like to go on an adventure?”

“A what?” Alex asked and Kelley felt her gut tighten until Alex continued. “Where would we even go?”

“I'm not sure, I haven't gotten that far,” she confessed which caused Alex to laugh.

“Well I'd love to come but I don’t think my parents would let me go out late at night with a total stranger.” Kelley understood that considering they'd only met each other a few days ago.

“They don’t have to know,” she shrugged, “Mine don’t know I'm over here.”

Kelley watched Alex think for a moment. She could almost see the wheels turning inside her head.

“I don’t know Kelley, what if my parents come in here and I'm gone?” she asked.

“They won't.”

“How do you know that?”

“I don’t.”

“You're not being very convincing,” Alex folded her arms across her chest as she didn't break eye contact with Kelley.

“Well, _I'm_ going to have fun, whether you come with me or not. It's your choice really, do you want to come with me and have the time of your life, or stay here with your book?” Kelley asked, hoping Alex wouldn't see through her words and realise how desperately she wanted her to come.

“See that’s better, okay let me put some warmer clothes on and then we can go,” Alex laughed as she ushered Kelley back out the window she had come in through.

\----

As Kelley and Alex set off into the night, neither one of them had any idea where they were going. Kelley figured she would just pretend to have a plan until she thought of something.

They walked for a while until Kelley spotted somewhere they could buy some food from.

Okay first stop, snacks,” Kelley said as confidently as she could manage.

“Snacks? Kelley, it's almost midnight, where are we going to find snacks this late.”

“You underestimate me, Morgan,” Kelley winked before leading Alex in the direction of the food.

The two of them walked in to find the place completely empty. Kelley wondered why until she remembered it was well past midnight on a Monday. The guy behind the counter looked shocked to see people and Kelley watched him glance at a clock on the wall before shrugging and going back to whatever he had been doing previously.

The two of them wandered around for a while as Kelley occasionally grabbed whatever she wanted off the shelves. They ended up with more food they could ever eat between them. Kelley just hoped she had enough money to pay for everything. They put all their stuff on the conveyor belt as Kelley tried to add up the total in her head. She was so preoccupied she didn't even notice Alex put the separator in between their food.

“Alex, I dragged you out here with me, the least I can do is pay for your stuff,” Kelley said, kind of hoping Alex would argue against it. Luckily she did because Kelley wasn’t sure she had enough money.

“I can pay for my own food, it's just some snacks. We’re not at some fancy restaurant on a date or anything,” Alex laughed and Kelley wasn’t going to say anything until she continued. “That would just be weird.”

“Why would it be weird?” Kelley asked, curious as to what Alex meant by her statement.

Alex shrugged, “I'm not gay, that would just be wrong. And I mean you're not either, you don’t look gay.”

“Right…” Kelley didn't really know what to say. She’d been stuck in a bubble of acceptance her entire life and was trying to process what Alex was telling her.

“Are you…” She was speechless, the words Kelley wanted to say wouldn't come out. “What's wrong with being gay?”

“Everything, why do you ask?” Kelley didn't respond, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to, “Are you…?”

“No, I'm-” What was she? Kelley didn't know how to handle the situation. She felt like she had two options but wasn’t sure which one to take. On one hand, she could come out to Alex and face rejection and possible humiliation and on the other, she could say nothing and continue to let Alex think that way. In the end, she settled on the first option. “I'm not gay, but I'm not straight either. Maybe bisexual I'm not sure.”

Kelley grew increasingly nervous as Alex took her time to respond. It felt like hours had passed as they stood looking at each other when in reality it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds.

“My parents always spoke so bad about gay people,” Alex spoke quietly, she seemed lost and confused as if everything she thought she knew was falling down around her. “But you're so nice, why would my parents lie?”

Kelley wanted to comfort the taller girl but she didn't know how. “We can just go home if you want.” She didn't want their adventure to end but if Alex didn't want to stay, Kelley wasn’t going to make her.

“Sorry, it's just a lot to process. I don’t want to go home though, I just need a minute.”

Kelley was glad but that also meant she now had to come up with somewhere for them to go next. “There's a bench outside if you want to go and sit down.”

Alex just nodded and paid for her stuff before she walked out of the store leaving Kelley behind.

“That seemed tense,” the cashier commented.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

Kelley walked out and found Alex on the bench she’d told her about. Alex was leaning back on it and looking up at the stars. Kelley wasn’t sure if Alex knew she was there until Alex spoke up.

“It's so beautiful.”

“The sky?” Kelley asked, confused as to what Alex was talking about.

“The stars, in LA you can't see them very well. Here isn't much better but it's something.”

“Right.” Kelley was even more confused. She couldn’t figure out what had changed Alex’s mood so drastically.

“Did you know that instead of looking up into the sky, you're actually gazing down into the infinite cosmic abyss, with only gravity holding you to the surface of the earth?”

“That’s actually really cool, where did you find that out?” Kelley was curious, did Alex know a lot about space or just that.

“My dad told me that, years ago when we used to go out stargazing.”

Kelley watched the corners of Alex’s mouth turn up into a smile.

“It's weird. I feel like before coming here I just believed everything my parents told me. Why would they like to me, you know? I used to think gay people weren’t people. It's like how people think you look up into the sky. You showed me that actually, we’re looking down, people are people and nothing can change that. It might take me a while to get used to but I think eventually I'll be okay with that.”

The way Alex’s brain worked fascinated Kelley. She wanted to learn more about the girl sitting in front of her.

“Anyway that was weirdly philosophical, where are we going next?” Alex jumped up enthusiastically as an idea struck Kelley.

“Follow me.”

Kelley and Alex walked for about a mile before they reached their destination. It was an old playground that Kelley and her siblings used to go and play at when they were younger. Kelley hadn’t been back in years but it seemed like the right place to be she thought.

“Where are we?” Alex asked as Kelley ran ahead to the swings.

“We’re like 15 minutes away from home, I used to ride my bike down here with Jerry and Erin when we were younger.” Kelley looked back at that time with her siblings fondly as she waited for Alex to catch up with her.

Alex and Kelley swung in silence, which was only broken by the sound of food being eaten, for a while. Both girls consumed with their own thoughts. Kelley reminiscing about her childhood memories made in the exact spot where she was sitting. Alex thinking about who knows what but Kelley would give anything to know.

“We have school tomorrow, it's quite late maybe we should start heading back.” Alex broke the silence.

“That’s probably a good idea. You nervous?”

“A bit.”

Kelley hopped off the swing and Alex copied her a few moments later. Alex shared the cause of her nerves as they walked and Kelley tried her best to lessen them for her. She told Alex that, of course Kelley’s friends wouldn't mind her sitting with them during lunch and yes all the teachers were nice enough. Before they knew it they were standing outside Kelley’s house.

“See you tomorrow,” Kelley waved as she opened her gate.

“Technically today since it's like 2 am,” Alex said as she began to continue down their street.

“True, see you later on today.” Kelley laughed until she realised she had to wake up in 4 hours. Tomorrow wasn’t going to be fun.

“Bye Kelley, thank you for tonight. I had a lot of fun.”

“Thanks for joining me. We’ll have to do this again sometime.” Kelley waved as Alex disappeared into the darkness.

By the time Kelley reached her bedroom the fatigue had taken over her body. She was exhausted but she knew that wasn’t going to change with just four hours of sleep. Kelley had had a good time with Alex. Now all she felt was tired and cold. As a result of this, before Kelley’s head could even touch her pillow she was fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s the first chapter from Kelley's pov, i hope you enjoyed it
> 
> if you have any questions or anything you can find me on Tumblr at italldependsontheday


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